In the wake of the May 18 shootings at the Islamic Center of San Diego, which claimed three lives and were carried out by two teenagers, a retired police sergeant is drawing attention to a deeply hidden form of domestic violence: child-to-parent violence and abuse (CPVA). Rasul T.
Freelain, a former sergeant with the Oak Park Police Department in Illinois, argues that many mass casualty attacks share a common thread—parents who are terrified of their own children. The Islamic Center attack, which occurred on the lower campus of Bright Horizon Academy, is the latest in a series of incidents where young perpetrators exhibited violent behaviors that their parents felt powerless to address.
Freelain, who spent 20 years in law enforcement, notes that CPVA is often the most stigmatized and overlooked form of family violence. He points to the 2022 Uvalde school shooting, where 18-year-old Salvador Ramos killed 19 children and two adults, but his first victim was his own grandmother, Celia Gonzales.
Ramos's mother had previously told police she was afraid of her son. Similarly, the Highland Park parade shooting, the Berwick fundraiser attack, and the Club Q shooting in Colorado Springs all involved parents or relatives who were frightened by younger family members.
Freelain's own experience with the case of Sheila von Wiese-Mack, who was killed by her daughter Heather Mack in Bali, underscores the severity of CPVA. Weeks before the murder, Heather had threatened mass murder and suicide after her mother urged her to seek mental health treatment.
Freelain's memoir, "When Lambs Become Wolves," chronicles this tragedy and highlights the need for greater awareness.
Conservative estimates suggest that at least 5% of American households experience youth-initiated domestic abuse annually, yet most parents and professionals remain unaware of the issue. Freelain calls for earlier recognition of warning signs, expanded access to mental health care, and better training for police and first responders.
He warns that when families suffer in silence, the consequences can be catastrophic. The Islamic Center shootings, he says, are a stark reminder that preventing future tragedies requires addressing CPVA before it escalates into violence.